Friday, October 27, 2006

Rights and respect

I cannot stand much more of giles. I'm so close to being finished, and applied viscom is necessary, but he has become unbearable. Today, we were supposed to have mastheads for the school newspaper and a layout plan to show for critique. When we came back after lunch, Giles asked us to put our work on the board. He looked around the room, and then said, "what have you done all week? This is not worthy of critique. You have a responsibility to commit to the work and get it done, and I don't understand what's going on." Up to that point, I was willing to take full responsibility for my lack of work, but what he said next is what put me over the edge. He said, "you are all wimpy and pathetic. all the instructors are saying that this year's class is whiny, and lazy, and there's no motivation to get anything done. How can you be proud of this kind of work, when it's so awful?"
I spoke up. I said, "Giles, I appreciate your comments about the work. But keep it to that. The name-calling is unwarranted and inappropriate." He slammed a book down, and yelled, "Corrina, this isn't personal. You had a job to do, and you've got to do what you f@#king need to do to get it done!I've just said what needed to said." I was stunned. I couldn't believe that he was yelling and swearing at me. He totally ignored the fact that name-calling is personal, and yelling at me is disrespectful. I can't believe I let him yell at me like I was a child. I got so angry that all I could do was leave the room, and cry in the washroom. When i got back, 45 minutes later, I began drawing, and he completely ignored me. Which was fine. I knew if he'd said something to me, I'd have gone postal. Maybe it wasn't personal when he talked about the work, but it has become so now. I am not motivated to work for someone who treats me like that. And then later, during break, the other students started talking about it. They said things like, "I totally know where you're coming from. But you just have to learn not to take it personally." Keith blathered on about how we had to listen to the truth, and that's what Giles was intending to tell us. At that point, I shut down the conversation by saying, "The issue is not about the work. And I will deal with this issue my way." I felt so alone, at that moment. He'd yelled at me and called us names, and they're defending him! As for them understanding what I'm going through...I highly doubt that. It's obvious that they have no comprehension of what respect is all about, and since they are not a middle-aged woman with 2 learning disabilities, I doubt they understand fully what I've experienced and why I feel this way. Giles yelled at me like I was in high school, and he is neither my father, or mother, and it is not his job to correct me. Tell me what I'm doing wrong in design, but keep the personal attacks out of it. They're all so afraid of him, and what he could do to their grade, that they'll allow him to insult them and treat them like children, all the while they feel miserable everytime they leave that classroom. I am concerned about my marks, too, but I'm not going to let anyone talk to me that way. Especially when I've endured more years and more obstacles than he can imagine. Live in my world for a while, Giles, and see how easy it is. But don't tell me that I need to do whatever I have to, to get the job done. My ability to suffer adversity is not in question here.