angrymonkey goes to school

angrymonkey goes to school

okay, I'm still learning this blogging thing. I'll get it, eventually. Thanks, Derek, for your help. Now at least I know what HTML looks like!

A New Year

I've been thinking about my new year's resolutions. One of them will be changes to my blog. I'd like to add a weekly feature, a cartoon strip I'll call "Distracto-Girl", and a new caricature. I'm going to change the template as well. I'd like to feature more of my work, some reviews of other caricature artists, and updates on Survivor. Coz everyone knows how much I love Survivor! (And this way, I can bore people reading my blog, rather than boring them while talking to them!).
I'm also going to make some personal changes. Been learning lots about how to handle my disabilities, and what my limitations are (a lot!). Still suffering the effects of ADHD, and an LD, but I want to reach out more to others and help them to understand, too. I realize that my art is a huge part of my coping mechanism (hence the Distracto-Girl comic!), and I want to use that to reach out to others who may be suffering from, or from someone, with ADHD.

some pics to enjoy!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/stoontoons/bono.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/stoontoons/angelina2.jpg

final marks

Did well on my first semester. All A's, except for Typography, which is a B. I can live with that. Don't really like it, anyway. I'm looking forward to new classes in January. I take Drawing, Design, English, Art History again, but with different instructors this time. And I'm also taking a third year class, Critical Theory, which I'm really looking forward to. I am also looking forward to those two hour lunches, when I can go to the gym and get on the treadmill, do some weights and try some new machines. I have Mondays off, which is great!
I am going to sit down this week and do some trading cards, and make some New Year's resolutions. One of those will be about my blog! So look for it!

almost finished!

Only three weeks left, and classes will be finished. I have one exam on Dec 9, my drawing/design/typography classes finish by Dec 3. The only class I don't know about is English. I hope it's scheduled for the week before Dec.9.I want to be home to celebrate family christmas with Derek and Lindsay and my honey before Derek leaves for Taiwan.
Talked to Craig, program co-ordinator, about the possibilities for my program. Changes are being made, and more drawing/illustration classes are being offered. So I can go for the applied degree and focus on the stuff I love to do...drawing!
Mato, my drawing instructor, said that I've made an amazing transformation as an artist, and my development has been incredible. I felt fantastic after hearing that. I love my drawing class the most. This week, we start working on our final drawings for that class. I'm drawing Lindsay, in three different styles. She will be featured as an Art Deco drawing, a classic Ingres (fabulous portrait artist of the 1800s), and something very cubist, abstract, with lots of textures. I may do a fourth one for credit, if I have time. So far, I'm really enjoying my classes, even with the stress level. I wonder sometimes if I've made the right decision, giving up my job and being here by myself, but I'm committed now, and I'm going to see it through.
God has blessed me with good instructors (mostly) and a love of learning. Except for the stupid matting I have to do, where I always mess up the measurements, everything is enjoyable, and I'm doing well. I just feel like there's going to be great things happening for me when I'm done all this!

midterm marks

Got thru midterms. Very stressful, but I'm happy with the results. Marks are as such:
English A
Art History A-
Drawing A
Design B-
Typography A-

Not bad for someone who nearly failed elementary school, and high school. I'm pleased with the marks. But I had to work very hard to get them. Thanks to a very helpful and accommodating staff, who have made arrangements for me to help me get tutoring, a computer, a time alone to write the exams, all of that helped to get me those marks. Now if I could just learn to deal with the stress and the time management, I'd fly through this! (I may end up with as little hair as my hubby's, if I keep tearing it out when I get frustrated!).
Working on a great project for Art History. Instructor Craig asked us to write an essay or do a studio project based on the periods of art we've studied. So I'm doing a piece called Zeus and Hera, using the Greeks' method of proportion to create the ideal form...and guess who the ideal forms are gonna be? Hee hee...never thought Brian and I would be ideal, except to each other! And for drawing, I have to do four black and white drawings, using all the things we've learned so far, and come up with related drawings. So Lindsay will appear as a Victorian portrait, an Art Deco poster, a subway graffiti drawing, and a pen and ink caricature. What fun I'm having now that the horrible exam stuff is over...at least until early December, when finals happen.
My drawing instructor said I have a very modernist style, sort of abstract expressionist. I like that. There's one fellow in the class who really strives for that, and gets frustrated that he doesn't achieve it. He asked Mato who had the most modern style of all the students - I don't think he was pleased to hear that my name was the first to come to Mato's mind. But, Mato is always suggesting to me that I try a more realist approach...he'd like to see me try a different style, not so distinctive. He always knows when we put our pieces on the wall for critique, which one is mine. Except for the last drawing...he told me he was very appreciative that I stepped outside my comfort zone and worked hard to do something different. He said that my development as an artist has already grown by leaps and bounds in the last few weeks. See me grinning? That's me in drawing class, experimenting and being creative. Last Monday, he had us draw with (first) our opposite hand, then both hands at the same time. I hated the both hands....probably because being LD and ADHD, I couldn't get my brain to function the right way. But the opposite hand wasn't really opposite...I didn't tell Mato that I'm somewhat ambidextrous. I could probably switch to lefty exclusively and have no problem drawing. Either way, I love to draw. I'd draw with my feet if I had to. (one person I admire, Joni Eareckson Tada, draws with her mouth and an apparatus...her vision still comes thru, despite overwhelming physical handicap!).
Gotta go now. Gonna do some drawing, then finish up a presentation for Typography. Just a note, I hate Swiss graphic design!

MY MARKS!

Yes, I have to shout! I've got two minutes before Survivor. My midterm mark for typography is A- ! I received an A on my English essay. Dr. Johnson commented that I went above and beyond what was expected, and my ideas were sound. I'll get midterm marks for Design tomorrow...that will bring my average down, I'm sure. Oh, just heard Jeff Probst! I'm off to survive!

my man bruce (okay, not really "my" man...the man of my dreams...sorry brian!) 

Debra Wilson from Madtv 

angelina jolie 

pictures!

Here are some sketches I've been working on. Not related to class at all. But fun to do!

Update!

I've been away from my computer for too long. Went home for Thanksgiving and thoroughly enjoyed it. But then I had to come back to school and start projects again. Midterms are coming up, so I'm going to be busy studying. I will try to post more often, though.
Survivor update! It's Friday, and you need to know my thoughts on Survivor. I'm glad Bubba got voted off...he acted like a nitwit. Next to go should be Rory, and I would love to see Scout go soon. Don't like either of them. Sarge definitely picked the right team! I like John, I think he's a lot smarter than others realize. Chad is a good guy, too, as long as he doesn't continue the "places by the fire" argument. How stupid is that? But it helped that Bubba opened his mouth, and then acted so stupidly on the new team. He would've been voted out by either team.
I am struggling with my design class. It'll be cool, eventually, though. Right now, I want to throw gouache paint against the wall and forget about line, value, shape, texture, and colour! Those are the five elements of art. Won't go into the 7 principles of organization. The instructor is all about creating according to strict elements. Boring! Got a dreadful presentation to do in typography. The actual presentation is fine...it's the subject I don't like. I got the name of a designer who developed a mathematical principle for design. Colour me excited. Can't understand it, don't work that way, hate the constriction of math...I am going to have to be very creative to get around this one. The guy sitting next to me in class got a name of a designer who does movie titles and posters...very cool. I wish I had that name!
Going to an art show tonight. Time to clean up my apartment. Ahh, the mundane trivial details of my life. I have some sketches and photos to post, so that will happen soon. Loved visiting the Mendel when I was home...I really do miss that place! I think I would like to continue working in an art gallery. I love the atmosphere of working with artists and people who aren't consumed with rules and principles!
La-de-da...off to clean!

update on my marks

It's been awhile since I posted, but I've been really busy, people! If any of you are students, you know what I mean. I've got a drawing assignment, an English essay about Hamlet and Oedipus, typography, two design assignments and a quiz on value and line, all due Friday! aaaaaggggghhhhhh! Somehow, though, I still manage to catch my favourite television show, Survivor. For those of you who are fans, as well, I am going to try to post some updates each week, so if you don't get to watch it, you can still find out who got booted!
This past episode, it was Mia who got voted off. Which I'm very glad for. She was probably the most selfish, volatile, manipulative, angry woman I've seen yet on Survivor. She deserved to be booted, even if it was just for the stupid faces she'd make at tribal council. And I, personally, like Twila. I wouldn't have a problem with her reticence to share her entire life, and I think she's one tough lady that I could totally relate to. I love her comments about the cute girls! She might not last too much longer, but at least she outlasted Mia. Can we talk delusional for a moment? What was Mia thinking when she said Twila didn't have the social skills to last? Um...Mia? She's still there and you're not! She obviously thought she was more powerful than she really was. And Eliza...please shut up! You are giving pretty women all over North America a bad name! People are going to start to believe the old myth that pretty women aren't too bright, based on your performance so far! I've also grown to appreciate Scout. I think she's pretty useless in the challenges, which will eventually cause her ouster, but she's also very knowledgeable about people and how to read them. If she can keep the heat directed at some of the younger hotheads, she may make it to the merge. Julie, Leann, Ami: not much to say. They haven't really made an impression on me. As for the men, I'm rooting for Sarge and Chad the amputee. I happen to think Sarge is a smart man, and I like his take-charge attitude. Since he obviously knows what he's doing, the other guys should listen to his orders and get the job done! Rory is gone, very soon. He's just not fitting in, he's a loner, and he's chosen the wrong time to assert his independence. So, you don't like taking orders from Sarge, huh, Rory? He's been winning challenges and you haven't, so the others are going to keep him around. Chad's determination, skill, and smart strategy have totally impressed me. It would be interesting to see him in an individual immunity challenge against Brady.
Enough about Survivor. I received my first marks for design class. C+. Not great. The instructor assured me that was very typical for the first project, and talked with me about what I needed to do to bring my marks up for the next one. I'm not happy with that, though. I will need to push myself harder to make sure I get better marks. I'm not going to graduate middle of the class!
Next week is Thanksgiving, and I'm going home to visit my hubby, and my kids. And go see Annie Lennox and Sting, with my good friend Fay. Can't wait!
Oh, and I no longer miss my treadmill so much. I've been using the free gym membership, and they have awesome treadmills. So I can still run...which is a great release after a tough class.

rough day

Hello all. So I've experienced my first two weeks of classes, and I'm getting a real sense of what to expect, and what my instructors are like. I love the drawing class. We're working in charcoal, and doing exercises in linear perspective, tone and value. Just being able to draw for six hours a day is wonderful! I love typography (that's developing fonts and letterforms) and I've been told by my instructor that I do have a skill for it. English is okay, more enjoyable when I get to write, and Art History is a bore. But not difficult. 2D Art Fundamentals is a nightmare! I thought I'd like it, because it's design, but I'm struggling with it. My instructor, Dean, loves to lecture the class about being on time, acting mature in class, and the evils of carbohydrates and sugar. Yes, people, he spent 15 minutes in class one day telling us what we should and shouldn't be eating. I've been feeding myself for a while now, I don't need a mommy to tell me to eat my vegetables. If I want them, I'll have them. If I want chocolate, I'll have that, too. And if I want advice, I'll see a nutritionist. Don't waste class time that I'm paying for to tell me what to eat! Dean is big on mathematics and art, and when I tried to explain my particular situation to him, he said, "you'll never get a job as a graphic designer if you can't do this. Why are you here?" Because it's compulsory, and I'm paying for my education, so I have to be here, you twit. I spent an hour in the bathroom, crying my eyes out. (yes, big tough corky does cry sometimes!). When I got back, he lectured the class on proper behavior. Tantrums aren't acceptable when you're working, blah blah blah. He might as well have said my name to everyone. I was angry...since when did I have a tantrum in class? I went off by myself, and dealt with my problem, then returned and didn't say anything to anyone. I feel like I'm back in high school when I'm in that class. And my old confrontational nature begins to appear. It doesn't help that the guy is at least ten years younger than me. I want to tell him off, demand that he treat us with respect, and learn to be more understanding of the differences. This is the same man who said there was no purpose to life, why believe in anything? He knows I'm a believer, so maybe he's just making my life difficult because of that. I pray that God will help me with this challenge and not strangle this idiot in front of the whole class. I love art and I value my education more than his opinion, so I'll put up with it.
And God does tell us he only gives us what we can handle.

A sketch I did last night, while trying to avoid doing my Design class project. Done with 2B and 4B pencils. 

life goes on

Hello! I'm finally back. Took a while, but my first week of school was pretty busy. If you're a student, you know that already. Waiting in line for an hour for textbooks is horrendous. All is well with student loans now, I should be getting the documents soon. I finished writing my first english assignment; I'm very nervous about how my professor will receive it. I will post the writing later. And I'll let everyone know what my first mark is!
I hate the hills here. My butt hates them, my quads hate them, my knees hate them. I should be in great shape when I get home next summer! There are no treadmills in the fitness centre...it's a weight room. So I won't be able to run during the winter. I'll switch to kickboxing, I guess. I miss my treadmill...
I have a cute apartment, but I hate all the endless hours of being alone. You'd think that I'd like that, considering that I'm usually overwhelmed by noise and stress and such. But I miss my babygirl, my man, and my own bed. And my treadmill...

These are a few trading cards I made on Thursday. They seem appropriate for the way I was feeling Friday! 

horrible day

I hate Student Loans. They are totally screwing me over...and there's nothing I can do. I need to pay my tuition by September 3rd, and I don't even know if I'm getting any funds. I have no idea if I can pay for school. I don't even know if I can leave for Medicine Hat on Monday. What's going to happen if I get there, then I receive notice from Student Loans that I won't get any funds? Then I end up coming back home, and have to tell all my friends and co-workers that I didn't make it. I don't know if my self-esteem can handle another blow like that. After all my dreams, and plans, and everyone being so supportive of me, and I would have to say, "guess what, I failed once again. Thanks for the nice party, and all the compliments, but gee, I am such a f@*^ing mess that I can't handle this, and I got booted out of school. So here I am, and my life sucks. But thanks for caring."
I can't believe this is happening to me. I don't even have faith right now to believe that God can do this for me. Life has always been so difficult for me, and I work so hard, and I'm still a loser. Why me? So I get to be ADHD, Learning Disabled, and hopeless all at the same time! I don't even know how to pray anymore. What do I pray for?

frustration

Sometimes I hate being me. It's so frustrating not being able to figure things out easily, or miss things that I should know, or realize that Nobody is Listening to Me! My care group from LH hosted a send-off party for me on Sunday evening. I was rather pleased, because it was nice to be acknowledged and appreciated. I never got that at West Portal. Part of the reason I love LH is the people accept me with all my faults (of which there are many) and never make me feel like my gifts and talents are unnoticed. There were lots of my LH friends there, all telling me how much they'd miss me and they wished me well in the Hat. So you'd think that would make me, the upstaging comedian, thrilled to be the center of attention, right? Wrong. I came home feeling totally anxious, just because I couldn't handle all the conversations and the people. I missed parts of things people said to me, and answered with really dumb, nonsensical things. At one point, I was telling the story of the student loans, and I realized that I'd been talking for five minutes, and only one person was listening...and I immediately beat myself up for being boring, too talkative, not tuning in to the signals. How come I didn't realize four minutes earlier that the story was way too long? I don't know. That's part of ADHD...just no social awareness at all. And with multiple conversations going on, I couldn't keep track of a single thread. And when I looked at my loving husband, he had fallen asleep. At my party! I was so angry at him for doing that...which really shouldn't have mattered, should it? After all, the party was for me, and no one else seemed to mind. But it bugged the hell outta me. For no other reason than I thought he should have stayed awake and at least pretended to be interested in me! I came home feeling anxious, paranoid, angry, and afraid. I am glad my friends did that for me, it was sweet, but I can't help freaking out about my own shortcomings in those situations. Lavern apologized for telling me ahead of time about the party...the group had wanted to make it a surprise. That would not have been a good idea. I've always hated surprises...now I know why. It's because my inner life is in such turmoil every day...I have no way to prepare myself for surprises. It throws me into a totally paranoid, stressful state, and I retreat. How many times Brian has had to change plans, or tell me about them, because I was getting so worked up about not knowing anything. Most people can handle surprises, and enjoy them...for me, it just means I will do something wrong, or say something stupid, or not even show up because I can't handle crowds. I hate movie theatres, surprises, malls on a sale day, and hordes of little children. I feel bad that I feel this way, because I know my friends put on a great party, and they were very considerate. So why don't I feel happy and grateful, and enjoy the attention?
I'm going to totally screw up on my first day of school, I know it.

inspiration

This is a verse I read some time ago, and gave me the inspiration I needed to continue pursuing my education. I review it once in a while when I'm feeling hopeless, or when I have to deal with student loans!
Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to give you hope and a future."

Things I will miss most when I'm in Medicine Hat;
1. my treadmill
2. watching Survivor with Lindsay on Thursdays
3. watching Brian drop bread crumbs all over himself when he's eating my homebaked bread
4. going to half-off sales at thrift stores with Lindsay and Derek
5. worshipping at Living Hope on Sundays
6. my treadmill!

Things I won't miss at all!
1. my stove (never use it anyway!)
2. having to listen to Nascar races on Sundays, at 110 decibels!
3. Thursday afternoon meetings at the Mendel (sorry, Laura, but I"m not very good at paying attention!)
4. seeing piles of vcr's and tools in the middle of my livingroom

i hate today

Yesterday was a terrible day. I checked on student loans...after five phone calls, four people, seven prompts, and two idiots, I finally found out that my assessment hasn't even been done yet, due to missing information. Of course, they don't tell you that. You have to somehow psychically know that there is a problem, and call them. And their reason? "not enough manpower." Okay, sure, that's true...but why isn't the information stated clearly on the form? If I'd known I'd needed to get some extra documents, then I'd have done that. So instead, I waited five weeks (they won't tell you anything before that) and then made all these phone calls, which still didn't give me the answer I needed. When we finally figured it out, then they tell me that it will be another four weeks before I receive notice! Hello? I leave in 10 days, and I have no way of knowing whether I will have the loan to pay my tuition! A drunk monkey (if you're a big brother fan, you'll know who said that!) could do that job. I did lose my temper on the phone...and I was told very curtly that there is no need to yell, ma'am. Yeah, there is, especially if you keep calling me ma'am! End result: I have to wait again, and I smashed my favourite mug, my happyface mug, against the wall, so now it has a crack on the bottom and I can't use it. And I fought with Brian over the computer. He seems to think that I don't need a computer, and I should just wait until student loans comes thru (if they do) to get a laptop. I'm supposed to go without, while there are two at home. I told him that I will be taking a computer, whether it's this one or another, I don't friggin' care. "It's too much trouble to pack and move" according to my possessive husband. That's your problem, Brian, not mine. I AM TAKING A COMPUTER!
How does he expect me to stay sane, if I have no way to connect with my friends, write in my blog, write notes and blather about school? He should remember that I actually paid for the computer, with my wages from the gallery, and we got it from an auction for employees of the gallery. I paid for the computer, the scanner, and the printer! So he paid for the upgrade, and some of the software. whoopdee do. Next thing, he'll be telling me I don't need a vcr or a tv...just try taking away Survivor from me....it will get ugly, I can assure you...

Perdita Felicien. 

these are two drawings I've been working on while watching the Olympics. Ian Thorpe, gold medal winner in swimming, and Perdita Felicien, track champion! 

my favourite hat! 

freakin' nervous

it's only two weeks till i leave for mh! aagghh! what am i doing? thanks to leon, though, i've learned some stuff about blogs and bittorrent (derek, i am going to see joe schmo!). i still don't understand what time my classes are, but i can download tv shows~yay for me~

no pix yet

i'm still trying to figure out the posting pix thing. aaggghhh! some days, i hate being me. i have trouble understanding the steps, and it's so frustrating. i guess i'll have to get someone to show me first, then i'll be able to do it....i hope. gee, this looks good for school. if i can't figure out how to post a stupid pic, how am i gonna remember all the stuff i have to do for classes?

the fringe experience

spent a week working at the fringe drama festival. did not enjoy the experience at all. i like working with the mendel, but the 25th street theatre organization was horrible to deal with. they made it virtually impossible for volunteers to see shows, due to the ridiculous limitations they imposed. such as you could only book the day of the performance, and since there were advance sales, often the really good shows were already sold out beforehand. and the organizers "reserved the right" to sell the specified number of volunteer seats. (i've always hated that term "reserved the right"....very vague, and makes sure that the organization can do whatever they want anyway, since they've reserved that right to do so). what really made me angry was the way they handled my complimentary tickets, which i won from a tv station. when i went to the venue to redeem them, they wouldn't honour them. said they were all sold out. so they hadn't held back seats that had already been purchased for the giveaway. i was told i could go to another play...which is not what i wanted. i won the tickets, so i could go see the play i wanted to, and was unable to with my volunteer pass. i bumped into someone from the board of directors, and they wouldn't let her use her superpass (which is supposed to cover all plays, all the time)! so it's more about the bottom line, 25th street, isn't it? they just want to sell the seats...as i discovered, they make $2 for each seat sold above a certain number. so they don't care about the volunteers, or honouring comps. i was really mad. made quite a scene in the box office in victoria school. guess they weren't prepared to deal with my raging temper!

another day, another in-law?

i've been so busy with work, i haven't had time to draw anything, or check out the board, (i miss my fellow cartoonists!) or even talk to my man. today is going to be a strange day. we pick up lindsay's boyfriend from the airport, and then go out for coffee with the two of them, along with my mother-in-law, and my son and his fiance. she's leaving for taiwan for 10 months. she's a sweetheart, and i know my son will miss her terribly. just exactly when did i become old enuff to be a mother-in-law? and when did my daughter grow up so much that she's got a boyfriend? oh...yeah....she's the same age i was when i got married! and then, i decide to go to school. what kind of insanity is this?

a bad day

this is a bad day. i've been arguing with brian (my hubby) all day, and nothing has been going right. i had to go to work at the gallery, and i was not in the mood to deal with lots of little kids. so, of course, it was one of the busiest days ever. i was supposed to do finger painting, so a lot of set-up, and clean-up. and i really get ticked off at parents who do nothing to help their own child, and expect me to wash their grimy little hands. but what's even worse, are kids who don't listen and figure they can do whatever they want even if you say no. i would never have let my kids act that way. i'm glad they're not little anymore. and tomorrow, i have to go to the fringe. i wonder what brian and i will fight about on monday? i need to find some time to post some pics here, and update my profile. i will do that...eventually.

My Student Life

This is new for me. I'm learning some wonderful things about the computer and how to use it. What's more, I am actually beginning to understand how this works!