Families

Just spent a weekend with my mom, daughter, and older sister. How interesting to see the differences in relationships between generations, and personalities. I've always thought of myself as an outsider, which has given me the opportunity to observe my familial ties with a rather disconnected view. I hardly take anything personally, as I am not sure that the various relationships are the most significant for me now. Perhaps they were at one time, forming my views and attitudes during adolescence, but now I've grown past that and understand that who I am now has nothing to do with the way my mother or sister sees me. The one significant relationship, with my daughter, has more to do with shaping my views and perspectives. It was revealing to see how my close relationship with Lindsay is affected by her close relationship with her Grandmother and aunt. Though they value her, and dote on her, while disregarding my relationship as her mother, I sensed a note of jealousy from them. There were some comments made to the effect that grandma and aunt should be valued more than mother...and there have been strenuous efforts from them to achieve that. Though it is valuable for my daughter to see and select from several different feminine role models, I doubt that they have the impact on her that they seek. Lindsay is not blind to the coercion and favoritism that exists in our family, particularly amongst the women, but she chooses to value the relationships of all her female family. However, she also chooses to treasure the bond between mother and daughter most of all. I am confident that I have her love and respect, that she has the love and attention from my mother and sisters, but that our bond is first and foremost.